Overview

SafeHouse, unlike Human Nature, was outlined a few times before I settled on this draft. This was the result of another Task Assessment as part of my Creative Writing Course with the Open University. This was a lot harder to write because I had a quote logged inside of my head at that time and at first, I based it around that as a starting point.

The quote came from Eastender's characters Pat Butcher and Janine Mitchell. I can't remember when it was screened but I do remember them sitting in Pat's kitchen with her, reminiscing about her childhood. The quote was this;

'I used to worry about you when you was a little girl. Running in front of cars and staring into space.' Pat Butcher.

I did chuckle at myself as I wrote that down in my notebook. If you watch the soap then you can imagine the image this creates with Janine. Hardly the nasty piece of work as she is now! From then on, I had that statement starting every line in every draft I created. But there was never a draft that came to life so I got rid of it completely and kept it as a guideline only.

I remember completing an exercise that was set by our tutor, which was to write a five hundred word character development in an unordinary situation. Once again, I let my imagination rule the roost and soon, before I knew it I had my starting couple of paragraphs. Of course, I'd have to change them so that they weren't identical to the ones I'd already submitted but compared to having no idea whatsoever it was a piece of cake.

This piece wasn't sent around as much as Human Nature. I asked people who I trusted to give me honest feedback and then decided what to do with the feedback. Surprisingly, it turned out positive which i was really happy about.

SafeHouse - Part Two

          "
           The nightmares were getting worse. A lot more vivid and distressing. They would happen every time I
          "Ignore her." Said another. "She’ll just be attention seeking. Always is that one." I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I’d never get back to sleep now. Not that I’d want to. Seeing Casey was enough to make me suffer from insomnia. And some nights that was exactly what I had. But no one in this place gave a toss. Especially about me. After what I’d done who could blame them?’d close my eyes. There’d be an overwhelming darkness and then these small, dot like pixels put themselves together. And then I’d see her. Young, happy but most importantly alive.          With my palms planted firmly on the bed I managed to haul myself up, my back straight against the white headboard. The light green sheets were crinkled as a result of my frantic movements. I must have been tossing and turning a lot. Half of it was hanging off the bed.
         There was a clear bright light from outside the large, thick white door which was reduced to a dull glow. The only sign that morning had officially broken. A part of me wondered what time it was. Six? Seven? Maybe even eight? What did it matter? Mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights were all the same to me now. Nothing was how it should have been. Being cooped up in here was like being in the zoo. Only difference was that there was no audience and there were no iron bars surrounding us.
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        I drew my knees in to my chest and rested my chin on top of them. There was no chance that I
       The sound of keys made me jump a mile. I quickly brushed the loose strands of hair behind my small ears and tried my best to look happy. The now unlocked door opened and there he stood. Frank, thirty five, was my knight in shining armour. My answer to my Romeo. The yin to my yang. But as usual there was a problem. He was married.
       He stood by the door, the light from outside burning my eyes. Seconds later he slammed it shut.
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    "Er, and how do you know?" His blue eyes glanced over at me and I felt myself going pink. Good job it was dark in here.

     Male staff aren

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       "No! She left me out in the cold Frank. No way." He heaved a sigh.
      "Kim, hold your horses!" Another pause. "She’s dying." I looked at him properly to see whether he was just kidding around. But he wasn’t. I sat back onto the bed and folded my arms. "She doesn’t blame you Kim. She never has." Another creak, this time it was the springs releasing him. ‘Think about seeing her.’ A few steps later and he was gone.Kim please let me.-”Well you can tell her not to bother."You’re going to struggle with what I’m about to say, but you could surprise me." Pause. "Your mum’s coming to see you today." I leapt off the bed, taking the covers with me. So now she was ready.      "I.-" We both laughed at our choice to speak at the same time. "You go." Kim.-"Grieving takes its toll honey, it’s all about waiting for it to get easier." I rubbed my sweaty hands onto the bed sheets as the room grew silent. I didn’t know what to say to him. It was a known fact that I could talk to him about anything but I wasn’t keen on talking about myself, especially to him. Yes but not every day surely."     "It’s bound to affect you, you wouldn’t be human if it didn’t." That’s all I seem to be doing right now." His bushy brown eyebrows narrowed. "Having moments." He nodded, his right hand patted my right knee gently. Yes. I’m fine now." I smiled weakly. 'Better now that you're here.'  "I’ve got it all out of my system."     "That’s great. It’s never good to bottle things up. You’ve got to get those thoughts and emotions out there." I lifted my chin from my knees and shrugged. Why did he have to be so nice? Why did I have to be in here? "Today isn’t going to be a good day for you, but everybody has their moments." He gave a short chuckle which echoed off the washed out grey walls. "I have to say I’ve had mine." My mind drifted off somewhere outside the walls that were enclosing me, over the black golden pointed gates and over the lush green hills it continued to go. It was with Casey now. Beneath the soil and into the pine spotless coffin it went.      "Everything all right Kim?" He asked, his head tilted sideways.     "I don’t. But I know I trust her. And she trusts me." Jean gave a sigh as she made her way further down the corridor. I heard Frank shut the door. I didn’t move, not even when the mattress springs creaked, and I sank into it. ’t supposed to enter girls’ rooms. Some of them had been known to try it on. And when they turned them down it got rather messy. There’d been five attempted suicides here. Two succeeded. One happened in this room. The three girls have since recovered and have left. They are free to live their lives, dream their own dreams and be who they want to be and never look back. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be ready for that. It’s all right. She’s not going to try anything."Frank! What are you doing? Frank!” ’d believe anything that was said today. Even if I wanted to there was no way. I’d be lying to myself as well as lying to them. I was way past help now. There was no hope of ever getting out of here.She does not attention seek Jean. She knows much better than to do that." A wave of calmness swept over me, Casey disappeared further into my mind, my pulse had quickened, blood swooped through my veins as my over sensitive eardrums picked up the sound of a bunch of keys jangling merrily. Shut the hell up Pearson!" Came an angry, female voice from the next room. Why was she yelling at me? I wasn’t causing any noise. Oh wait. Yes I was. I was shrieking. I clamped my mouth shut, my heart was beating so fast that it was making it hard for me to breathe. I should have apologised but I couldn’t locate the word in my brain. Besides, she should have been used to it by now.

SafeHouse - Part One

              Somewhere, in the bible it states that whenever someone closes the door, the Lord opens up a window. A line that was so elegantly dropped into the script for The Sound of Music. A film which my little sister, Casey was quietly engrossed in. She was sat in front of the television, her small button nose just centimetres away from the screen.
            That statement makes no sense to me whatsoever. How can you climb through a window? It would be easy if it was low down, like the front room window of our Victorian house. But what if it was higher up? And what if there was no other way to move on, but that of a tiny window?
           There was no one else home apart from Casey and me. Our mother had went out, not saying where she was going or what time she
           We were used to her wanderings. That was all she ever did. Apart from sleeping and eating that is, but when it came down to us we were left to fend for ourselves. Sometimes we
          I turned the page of my crumpled, tea stained copy of Romeo and Juliet. Mr Roteberry, my young and articulate English teacher had warned all of us Year Tens that he would be putting together a small quiz on Wednesday. Studying wasn
         A movement was heard from near the television, then the pounding of footsteps followed on the red, concrete floor. I could hear Casey
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      "Come and learn me." I sighed heavily.
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     "I. Said. Not. Now.”
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      This was how it usually went when she wasn
     I hauled her onto my lap, placing my arms around her shoulders I gently rocked her. The sun appeared from behind the dark, grey and fluffy clouds which after five minutes broke apart and a patch of brilliant blue sky was visible. The ground was brown from the rain, large puddles were formed by the side of the curbs and on the pavements. Maybe… Casey
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     "Why?"
     "We’ve got to save the electricity. We don’t know when mum is coming back." Casey leapt off my knees and ran out of the lounge. Within seconds she was back with her Peppa Pig wellies.
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      ‘Yes. Would you get my Wellingtons?’ As soon as her right foot was in she bounded off and minutes later there was a huge clatter. I hurried out of the door and there was Casey. Her body jerking about frantically and blood bubbled from her mouth like a fountain. I’m going to jump in the biggest puddle and make such a splash." She declared as she slipped her left foot into the correct Wellington. ‘Are you going to jump with me?’ It shouldn’t have been something I’d have to think about. And the rain was the only reason I’d got the book out in the first place. I smiled at her. Are you sure?" She gave a nod. "It won’t be going back on mind if you go outside."Don’t want to watch it now." What about the film?" Her shoulders raised then fell. Can I play outside?"’s head tilted backwards.’t happy with time on our hands. An hour or so into our mother being absent and Casey would beg for her. This was the hardest part. Consoling a child who wanted to see her mum. But the devastating truth was that our mum just didn’t care enough. Well, mum’s not here so you’ll have to put up with me for now." One big, fat but tiny tear rolled down her left, rosy red cheek followed by another. And another. And another. They kept on coming as she began wailing. Don’t want to." She snapped. "I want mum!" I slammed the book shut. It’s not about that. I need to this right now"’ She ran her fingers through her long, blonde tufty hair. Her shoulders slumped forward as the music began, it was too late now. I looked at her again. "It’s started now. You’d best go and watch the rest of it." Her eyes didn’t blink as her left hand traced invisible patterns on the floor. I promise I’ll be good. I won’t mess about."Please Kim."Not now Casey, I have to read this." She stuck out her pink bottom lip, her eyes faced the floor. "Don’t look like that, your face will stay that way." She didn’t take any notice of me. I focused my attention back to the book. I was up to the part where Romeo seeks Juliet at the Capulet’s Mansion when, from the corner of my right eye, I saw her kneel down. And?"The dance is about to start." She said. My eyes met her large, blue eyes, they were brighter than any stars I’d ever seen. Even if she was only six and three quarters of age. ’s breathing, fast and furious, like a hundred birds flapping their wings in unison. The shadow of her small, thin body lingered over the book I’d been mulling over. ’t one of my favourite things. I hated reading, especially books that Shakespeare had written. The text was old fashioned and the words had no meaning to me because of that. ’d be glad that we were alone, and thankful that we had each other. Other times we’d long for her to spend time with us. Even if it was just for a few hours, that would be enough to satisfy us. ’d be back. She’d simply slipped the DVD into the player and ordered me to keep an eye on her. And then she’d left. The large, white glossed door slammed behind her, the sound of her heels which belonged to her Gucci black stilettos echoed off the grey, cracked pavement.

Overview

Human Nature was written as part of a Task Assessment for my Creative Writing Course which I took with the Open University nearly two years ago. The themes that appear in the story weren't thought out, planned or pin pointed they just came to me through writing.

I was very shocked and I'll admit a little disturbed by the finished product and I found myself asking 'What is this monstrousity that I have just written? Who on earth would want to read something like this?' Of course, this lead to my fiance relaying positives about the whole story, about how the characters were emotionally charged, about the way Callum reacted to Sam's news of expecting her dad's child. (He actually laughed and said that was exactly how a teenage boy would react). And so I began to feel a little better about this piece.

In the weeks that followed though, my new found happiness was thrust upon into the darkness as I sent it (by email) to other students who thought that a) the switching characters were confusing and b) they found the themes difficult to take in, along with the fact prostitution wasn't like the way I'd made it out to be. I even had some comments about it being about the shock factor which I thought was absurd as everything that you have read, was just what came out of my head and onto the computer screen.

With the reviews coming back as negative I decided to redraft it by using just one character (I chose Charlotte), still using the first person and the prostitution theme, I managed to develop it but found I wasn't entirely sure whether it was the winning piece. It is sad to say this one hasn't seen the light of day since it was posted on a group on Facebook. Shame, really.



Human Nature - Part Four

Charlotte -

Sometime passed before Colette re appeared from the car, she received a bundle of money and the driver was on his way. She was glowing, the way she could even smile after being pimped was enough for me to throw up but I contained myself. I didn’t’ want her thinking that I was too soft for this.

“Five hundred for a session and a blowjob,” she said cheerfully. “Not bad for a night’s work,”

“Yeah,” I replied flatly, still no sign of life. How long was I going to have to wait?

“No one picked you up then?”

“Does it look like it?” Colette’s eyebrows raised and I raised my hands. “Sorry it’s just…”

“I know it’s frustrating isn’t it? My first time didn’t’t happen until two nights into the game. I’m advanced now.” Looking at Colette I could practically see inside her head. All the things she’d be buying Leona, the new clothes and anything else that took her fancy. We may have been doing the same thing to earn money but I was trying to make a life for myself. Callum thinks I’m secretly doing drugs but I know that he’d go mad if he knew that I was a… Prostitute.

“Leona will be asleep when you get home won’t she?”

“Yeah bless her. She’ll have been asleep two hours now but this will all have been worth it. She has to know that Mummy loves her,”

“And she will… She needs you there with her,”

“Char!” She closed her eyes. “Leona is my responsibility. Her father doesn’t’ want to know she only has me. This is my job. To provide for her,”

“Okay,” I sighed, a white cloud of smoke clouded in front of me as I huddled down underneath my coat. At last a black car pulled up, flashed its lights twice then beeped its horn. Colette smiled at me while I went to.

(C) Copyright 2012





Human Nature - Part Three

Callum -

Quarter to nine read the time on my watch. Where was she? We’d promised each other to meet underneath the bridge right about now. Had something happened? Maybe she’d suddenly taken ill? Surely she’d have texted to let me know. I couldn’t’t be sure whether her mum had found out. It could have been a possibility. She would have confiscated her mobile and guarded her room. How long could they treat her like a ten year old? Was it even safe to…?

                “Hey!” A voice echoed from behind me, a voice that I’d missed ever since the ban had came into place two years ago. I swivelled on my heels and greeted her with a smile and a warm embrace.

            “I didn’t’t think you were coming,” her breath felt warm, and good on the skin of my neck that I didn’t’t want to move. I wanted to keep her here. Safe. With me.

            “Sorry I would have called but…” I let go of her, her eyes were all red, her arms folded across herself for comfort. What could I do? What could I do?

            “It happened again,” her jaw quivered while her long blonde hair wavered in the gentle blowing wind. I sighed deeply while a car parked at the other side. “I don’t know how much more I can take,” she whimpered. “I mean, I love my mum,” she gave a stifled giggle then gulped. “Even my dad but…”

            “How can you say that Sam?” I asked her, confused. “He’s hurting you!”

            “I know,” there was a silence that I couldn’t’t fathom, I expected some sort of noise. A train journeying to some place, a boat on the river, something that could have made the atmosphere unperturbed. Nothing came. Sam wiped a tear from her left eye with the sleeve of her white jacket, her whole body looked frail and grey. Her skin seemed too dull for a girl of fourteen.

            

“We have to do something. We have to go to the police,” her brown eyes fixed on mine, I read one thing. Panic and then the other. Anger.

“No! Callum we can’t,”

“I will not stand back and let that piece of scum tear you apart!” I thundered. “How long are you going to be his prisoner?” She shook her head, choking out sobs as she did so, a few drunken louts passed us then, shouting out lucrative filth as they passed. This made Sam a lot more anxious and me a lot more furious. “Go and drink yourselves to death! What do you know?” Sam tugged at my arm.

“No Callum don’t! It’s what they want,” I looked at her.

“You’ve protested then?”

“What do you think dummy?” She bit her bottom lip with aggravation. “I have tried all of the time but still he pushes me down and tells me to button it,”

“And if you don’t?” Her eyes looked away. “In fact don’t answer that. I don’t want to know,”

“It’s too late Callum,”

“No it’s not. You have to call the shots not your parents!”

“No I mean it. It’s too late,” What exactly did she mean by that? “I’m…” She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant,” I stood back in horror. How could he? How could he do that to..? And then I threw up. Right in front of her. She didn’t’t cower, or scream. She just stood there crying. What could I say now? I didn’t’t know.

“Bastard!” I growled. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” she sniffed. “All I know is, is that I’m expecting his child.”

“And your mum what does she say about it?” She fell to her knees, wailing like she’d just lost a winning lottery ticket. I scolded myself at my insensitivity.

“She- She knows Cal,” sniffs again. “She knows that I’m pregnant with his kid,” I scoffed. No! This was too much.

“I can’t believe it! What are you their puppet?” I sat down, drawing her to me as I did. “Sam, I’m going to say something that might make you angry with me.”

“What could I possibly get mad at you about?”

            “I think you should get rid of the baby,” her mouth opened and without warning her right hand slammed into my jaw.

“You heartless git! It’s a living thing!”

“Yes Sam I know that but it’s spawned from the devil. Do you really want him to be the father of your child?” She wiped her eyes gently.

“No. But the child’s innocent in all of this. Don’t you see?”

“Of course I do. But let’s say that you have the baby, they could completely rule your life and the bairns. Do you want that for him or her?”

“I only want what’s best,” she sighed then rose to her feet. “I have to get back. They think I’m at Tesco’s doing some food shopping,” I nodded.

“All right,” I stood up too and reached out to her, she shrugged me off.

“Don’t. I know that you’ve got my best interests at heart Callum but saying that about a baby… It was a bit uncalled for don’t you think?” She began to walk off into the night and I watched her go.

 (C) Copyright 2012

Human Nature - Part Two

Charlotte

              “S’ cold tonight isn’t it Char?” My mate Colette turned to me, her blue eyes twinkled with excitement.

“Cold enough for the white stuff eh?” I replied, chewing happily on the piece of gum I’d received from a previous punter. Colette didn’t’t seem the amateur that she claimed to be so many times with her eloquent good looks and her tongue and cheek vocabulary, whether it was an act or not was unseen to me or the punters, they seemed to like her dress sense more.

“Yeah,” she muttered out of nowhere, she patted the hem of her denim skirt which stopped a couple of inches above her knees. “Do you think I look all right tonight?” I sighed as I scanned the dark and isolated streets. Quieter than usual. Other girls were on the other side too, pacing up and down the sidewalk, wondering when they were going to get picked up.

“Course, you look a diamond,” the cold air nipped at our cheeks and we shivered inside our small black jackets. How I longed to zip it up, but if I did that nobody would take interest then.

“I hope so,” her eyes swiftly moved to the right side of the street. “My mum asked me to look after Leona tonight,”

            “What did you say?”

            “What do you think I said? I told her I had plans with you,” I breathed a sigh of relief. Why was I surprised? Colette wouldn’t blow our covers; she was into this malarkey as for me… I had places I could have been right now other than being treated like a piece of meat. Car breaks were heard in the distance along with the sound of teenager’s shouting filth. “Anyway how’s Callum? You said he was having problems,” I took the box of cigarettes out of my left pocket; it felt colder than my hands were. Callum. My lovely, intelligent and adult bodied brother. I took a ciggie from the box, flicked on my lighter with my right hand and lit it.

 “Callum. He’s fine now, just a few girl troubles,” I took a long drag. “Nothing he can’t handle,” Lucky sod I thought to myself. At least he’s getting into college next year, where will I be then?