SafeHouse - Part Two

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           The nightmares were getting worse. A lot more vivid and distressing. They would happen every time I
          "Ignore her." Said another. "She’ll just be attention seeking. Always is that one." I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I’d never get back to sleep now. Not that I’d want to. Seeing Casey was enough to make me suffer from insomnia. And some nights that was exactly what I had. But no one in this place gave a toss. Especially about me. After what I’d done who could blame them?’d close my eyes. There’d be an overwhelming darkness and then these small, dot like pixels put themselves together. And then I’d see her. Young, happy but most importantly alive.          With my palms planted firmly on the bed I managed to haul myself up, my back straight against the white headboard. The light green sheets were crinkled as a result of my frantic movements. I must have been tossing and turning a lot. Half of it was hanging off the bed.
         There was a clear bright light from outside the large, thick white door which was reduced to a dull glow. The only sign that morning had officially broken. A part of me wondered what time it was. Six? Seven? Maybe even eight? What did it matter? Mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights were all the same to me now. Nothing was how it should have been. Being cooped up in here was like being in the zoo. Only difference was that there was no audience and there were no iron bars surrounding us.
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        I drew my knees in to my chest and rested my chin on top of them. There was no chance that I
       The sound of keys made me jump a mile. I quickly brushed the loose strands of hair behind my small ears and tried my best to look happy. The now unlocked door opened and there he stood. Frank, thirty five, was my knight in shining armour. My answer to my Romeo. The yin to my yang. But as usual there was a problem. He was married.
       He stood by the door, the light from outside burning my eyes. Seconds later he slammed it shut.
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    "Er, and how do you know?" His blue eyes glanced over at me and I felt myself going pink. Good job it was dark in here.

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       "No! She left me out in the cold Frank. No way." He heaved a sigh.
      "Kim, hold your horses!" Another pause. "She’s dying." I looked at him properly to see whether he was just kidding around. But he wasn’t. I sat back onto the bed and folded my arms. "She doesn’t blame you Kim. She never has." Another creak, this time it was the springs releasing him. ‘Think about seeing her.’ A few steps later and he was gone.Kim please let me.-”Well you can tell her not to bother."You’re going to struggle with what I’m about to say, but you could surprise me." Pause. "Your mum’s coming to see you today." I leapt off the bed, taking the covers with me. So now she was ready.      "I.-" We both laughed at our choice to speak at the same time. "You go." Kim.-"Grieving takes its toll honey, it’s all about waiting for it to get easier." I rubbed my sweaty hands onto the bed sheets as the room grew silent. I didn’t know what to say to him. It was a known fact that I could talk to him about anything but I wasn’t keen on talking about myself, especially to him. Yes but not every day surely."     "It’s bound to affect you, you wouldn’t be human if it didn’t." That’s all I seem to be doing right now." His bushy brown eyebrows narrowed. "Having moments." He nodded, his right hand patted my right knee gently. Yes. I’m fine now." I smiled weakly. 'Better now that you're here.'  "I’ve got it all out of my system."     "That’s great. It’s never good to bottle things up. You’ve got to get those thoughts and emotions out there." I lifted my chin from my knees and shrugged. Why did he have to be so nice? Why did I have to be in here? "Today isn’t going to be a good day for you, but everybody has their moments." He gave a short chuckle which echoed off the washed out grey walls. "I have to say I’ve had mine." My mind drifted off somewhere outside the walls that were enclosing me, over the black golden pointed gates and over the lush green hills it continued to go. It was with Casey now. Beneath the soil and into the pine spotless coffin it went.      "Everything all right Kim?" He asked, his head tilted sideways.     "I don’t. But I know I trust her. And she trusts me." Jean gave a sigh as she made her way further down the corridor. I heard Frank shut the door. I didn’t move, not even when the mattress springs creaked, and I sank into it. ’t supposed to enter girls’ rooms. Some of them had been known to try it on. And when they turned them down it got rather messy. There’d been five attempted suicides here. Two succeeded. One happened in this room. The three girls have since recovered and have left. They are free to live their lives, dream their own dreams and be who they want to be and never look back. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be ready for that. It’s all right. She’s not going to try anything."Frank! What are you doing? Frank!” ’d believe anything that was said today. Even if I wanted to there was no way. I’d be lying to myself as well as lying to them. I was way past help now. There was no hope of ever getting out of here.She does not attention seek Jean. She knows much better than to do that." A wave of calmness swept over me, Casey disappeared further into my mind, my pulse had quickened, blood swooped through my veins as my over sensitive eardrums picked up the sound of a bunch of keys jangling merrily. Shut the hell up Pearson!" Came an angry, female voice from the next room. Why was she yelling at me? I wasn’t causing any noise. Oh wait. Yes I was. I was shrieking. I clamped my mouth shut, my heart was beating so fast that it was making it hard for me to breathe. I should have apologised but I couldn’t locate the word in my brain. Besides, she should have been used to it by now.